Dear Reader –
I thought I would have something for you before the weekend ended, but I couldn’t seem to find a way to close out the piece I have been tinkering with recently. UGH!
Last week I decided my first real post should be about something that has been occupying my mind for a couple of years now. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I would approach this topic, and yesterday while my husband was napping, I started to put ideas onto paper. But for the life of me I could not corral it. When I started, it seemed like it would be focused and easy enough to write. I mean, I have been living with this for more than a year, so how hard could it be? Today I worked on it again and tried over and over to pull it together, to make it shorter, easier to digest. Finally, I had to put it aside, admit defeat for now, and start on something else.
I did some research before attempting to start my blog. I wanted to make sure I knew the right and wrong way to go about this. You know – – make sure I set myself up for success and all. Basically, while I learned there is no real “right or wrong way”, the general consensus seems to be that concise is best until your readership has made the commitment to stay the course with you.
Since this is only the beginning, I think it is fair to say a commitment has not yet been made. I am laughing at myself as I write this. I mean, how many people are really reading my blog so far? I have only made one post, and it wasn’t what I would call a real post any way. It was merely an “About Me”, an introduction of sorts. Who knows how many of those first readers will come back to see what I have to say today. And after that, the question remains – – will they continue to return?
With that in mind, I will strive to keep my posts under control for now.
I will start with my “low”. It was cold and wet today. I have no patience for cold, wet days, especially in mid to late February. I always get homesick this time of year. My birthday is this month and when I was growing up, the weather in February was always nice. It wasn’t hot, but it certainly wasn’t cold either. There were a few years when it might have been in the high 50’s, but mostly I remember bright, clear, sunny days where the most you would need was a sweater or a light jacket when you set out in the morning. But not here and not today. Today was all about boots and gloves and warm coats. And umbrellas. One of the things I miss the most about the deep south is spring. Just about this time each year, the first signs of life to announce its arrival are the early bulbs and flowering trees/shrubs, and the hordes of birds singing as the sun rises. Some days could be windy and kinda of crazy, but cold and wet they definitely were not!
In spite of the dreary weather, I managed to have a pretty good day.
I decided not to give anything up for Lent this year. The moment I say I will give up something is the moment I am sure to crave it so badly you would think I had an addiction. Over my lifetime I have had a few Lenten successes, but I was not feeling confident enough in myself to take that challenge this year. Instead, I decided to add something to my life. It’s part of this burning question with which I have been struggling – “purpose”. Specifically mine.
I am struggling with the concept. Truth be told, it started taking up more and more real estate upstairs not too long after I hit the big 5-0. A lot has changed for me since that birthday, but I digress. I will eventually address that in another, most likely much longer, post.
Back to Lent. I started reading a daily devotional of sorts. I wondered if I would grow weary of such intense religious thought, day in and day out, for 40 long days. So, in typical fashion when I fear failure, I made the commitment with some trepidation at the very last possible moment, which was the beginning of Lent on Ash Wednesday. So far so good, I am happy to report. I won’t bore you with details of the readings or my thoughts on them just yet. This is not meant to be a religious blog in any way. It is meant to be a blog about life in general, mine in particular. Of course, religion and spirituality are a part of my life, for better or worse, so I suppose from time to time the subject might come up in more detail.
For this past week, I have found I am more focused on the positive and less obsessed with the negative. There was one day when I didn’t get going early enough, so I felt I couldn’t take the time to read, reflect and pray. In the evening, I realized I had grown more and more grouchy as the day progressed and thus ended my day feeling resentful. If nothing else, this daily quiet time has helped me to focus of what is good in this world and in my life. That is always a plus.
Another “high” today was the unexpected gift of a charge-free visit from my new plumber. Our dishwasher is not yet two years old, and my husband, who was living alone for a number of years until we married last May, had not used the brand new dishwasher until I moved here in June. Since then, we have made a habit of using it at least three times a week. Long story short, after Christmas I noticed it smelled musty; then I realized it was not properly draining. My handyman suggested I call a plumber, which I did. He came, figured out the issue (not really a big one), and was out in less than half an hour. He refused to charge me, and now we are friends for life!
On that high note, I will say good night and sign off. I will continue to work on my epic post, trying to whittle it down to a more manageable length. Purpose is weighing heavily on me, as I think it does on many women my age, and I want to talk about it here, but I fear it is a hard subject to keep short and simple. Wish me luck.
Until next time…